Selfish
by TsukiChanChan
Summary: Neither of them knew how it happened, but they knew they had to move on.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**

 **I know I haven't updated in a while… Trying to figure out some stuff. Maybe an update will come soon? I hope so lol. Enjoy!**

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She _glowed_.

Porcelain skin radiated as brightly as her long blue hair, her eyes shining with delight whenever she looked at him. He was adorned with gifts from her making and showered with her love. Treated like a king- he was sure he was one in her eyes, and she desperately wanted to be his queen. And, maybe, if in another life, she was.

But those days were gone and he didn't exactly know why. He had rejected her many times over. He had ignored and shooed her away whenever she came too close, became irritated with her overbearing. She was annoying to no limit, and that he loathed. Could she not learn to simply _go away_? But she always stayed, and soon, he became accustomed. Still annoyed, but not as much as before.

And somewhere along the way, he had accepted that she would _always_ be there. Sometimes, he would smile back at her. He knew her better than he should've, than he wanted to, but he didn't have a choice. She pushed herself onto him, leaving him no other option.

Why she liked the rain.

Her favorite foods, her worst moments.

All projected onto him without his consent but without his complaint. If being a friend meant listening to her annoyingly, and sort of cute, high-pitched, excited voice, then he would. He would always be her friend.

She didn't understand that he wanted nothing more. At least, not for a long time.

But, somewhere along the way, her eyes began to dim. Her spark was diminishing. And he hadn't noticed. He knew her better than anyone. How had he not noticed?

Looking back on it, though, as he watched her swoon over someone else, he could pinpoint exactly where it happened. It seemed obvious. How had he not noticed?

And maybe, he thought, turning away from her, ignoring the hand she held, the hand that _wasn't_ his, that this is what he deserved. She had been separating herself from him long enough for him to tell the signs. _How had he not noticed?_

But what would he do anyway? Suddenly confess a love for her that didn't exist? And disappoint her further? He couldn't, but that didn't stop the queasy feeling in his stomach.

It _hurt_ to see her move on, for her to distance herself. She was supposed to stick with him forever. But maybe it was his fault. No, it couldn't have been. It wasn't his fault he couldn't reciprocate her feelings. He shouldn't feel guilty.

Yet he did, and he so desperately wanted her back. What he had wasn't love, but he couldn't figure out _what_ it was.

He looked the barmaid, beckoning her over. There was nothing he could do. He had his chance long ago.

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 **Author's Note**

 **Does this count as angst? I don't know, but I know it's short. There's a part two, don't worry.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**

 **Part Two! Enjoy!**

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He was her sun.

His smile, his eyes… everything about him was perfect. And yet he didn't flaunt it, but she was sure he _had_ to know. He was just too amazing.

She basked in his glow, always there, always watching. She didn't deserve him. But that didn't stop her from hating those who did. He belonged to _her_. At least, she hoped.

He was distant, and didn't seem to care. Perfectly aloof, sometimes perfectly oblivious. She was always there for him. Never in plain sight- always in the shadows. She wouldn't let anything happen to him. She cared too much.

He screamed at her, though. A lot. Or at least, his version of screaming. He often told her to leave him alone, to bother someone else. What was wrong with her? What did she not have that her sun wanted? So she changed.

2.0. The better version of herself. At least, she thought it was. It wasn't until later that she realized she didn't change at all. She plastered on a bigger smile and changed her hair. That was it. But she _felt_ different. She thought he would look at her differently. Realize how much they meant to each other.

She didn't realize that she wasn't changing for _him_. She was selfish, and never abided by his wishes. All the gifts, all the love- it was to try and make him satisfy _her_ needs and _her_ feelings. Has she ever really considered how _he_ felt?

How many times she "changed", she didn't know. Maybe she got tired. Tired of not being acknowledged. Tired of only being a friend. She recognized her flaws, and recognized his. She started to question herself.

Who was she in love with?

Him, or the idea of him?

She didn't know, and that made everything worse. But she pulled through. For him. It was all for him. She tried to look at him the same way, but she couldn't. She had waited _so long_. She couldn't any longer. So she tore away. It hurt. But she could tell he didn't care.

He never did.

She was used and she let herself be used under the pretense of love. She was blinded by naivety and got her heart broken because of it. She couldn't remember what made him special. But still, she always hung near.

 _He will come back begging_. She would think. _He will miss you and come back._

The stories she used to read as a child. That's how they went. Absence made the heart grow fonder, right? She thought it to be true, but, it was just a fairy tale. For he didn't spare her a second glance.

She faded into the background and he didn't bat an eye. What did she expect? She was foolish, and maybe, a part of her still was.

Because she looked at him from across the guild, wondering when he'd turn around. Wondering when he'd realize that if he wanted her she was _still there_. For how long, she didn't know. She had someone else. She looked at them the same way she used to look at him. But feelings lingered.

She had poured her very soul into make him happy, and she thought she did a good job. Until she was gone and nothing changed. His smile never faltered, eyes never finding its way back to hers.

He was her Romeo, she wasn't his Juliet.

And maybe it was better for her to know that, now. For her to find out on her own instead of him telling her, or worse, _showing_ her. Whatever she thought they had didn't exist.

He still sat at the bar, slightly disconnected in his conversation like he always was. He still sat there, barely paying attention to the guild and instead focusing on something only he could see.

So she turned around, laughing when she thought she should. Leaning on her new beloved's shoulder, clasping their hand in hers.

She was a woman, or at least, she should act like it. There was no reason to hang onto him, no reason to stay.

She ignored the chilling feeling- the feeling of being watched as she stared into her new beloved's eyes, chattering the rest of the evening away.

She shook the feeling that maybe, he was looking at her, too.

It must've been her imagination.

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 **Author's Note**

 **Finished! The shortest thing I've ever written. I hoped you enjoyed the one-shot. I wouldn't say this was a Gruvia two-shot. They didn't end up together and they didn't really** _ **love**_ **each other. Juvia thought she did, Gray never did. I hope that got through. Anyway, maybe I'll do another fic like this one. Til next time. Peace!**


	3. Chapter 3

To my _lovely_ guest reviewer.

Gruvia is practically _canon_ by now, of course I ship them. Does that mean I'm going to be spamming fluffiness? Noooooooo! It _does not_. Because even so, I ship Lyvia almost just as much and I'm _obviously_ going off Juvia and Gray's relationship from _earlier in the series_.

I think it's sad that you don't understand that. So don't bring your bullshit to my story, if you would. Thank you in advance.


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